How Friends Can Help or Hinder Your Teen’s Choices
For many teenagers, friendships are everything. Peers play a major role in shaping their values, behaviours, and even their sense of identity. But while the term peer pressure often conjures up negative images—risky choices, rebellion, and poor judgment—peer influence isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can be one of the most powerful forces for good in a young person’s life.
Peer influence is the impact that a friend or peer group has on someone’s attitudes, decisions, or behaviours. It can be as simple as changing the way they dress or as significant as influencing their moral compass. Teenagers are especially sensitive to this influence because fitting in and being accepted by their peers is a key part of adolescent development.
But peer influence isn’t always about pressure. Sometimes, it’s about support.
Positive peer influence—also known as peer support—can help teens grow in all the right ways. A strong, supportive group of friends can encourage healthy habits, like studying, staying active, or steering clear of risky behaviour. These are the friends who celebrate each other’s wins, encourage each other to do the right thing, and show up when it counts.
Teens surrounded by this kind of energy often feel more confident in making good choices. They learn to treat themselves and others with respect, and they feel a stronger sense of belonging and self-worth.
On the flip side, peer influence can sometimes steer teens in the wrong direction. Young people may go along with risky or unhealthy behaviours because they fear losing their friendships or being left out. This is especially true for teens who feel isolated, rejected, or unsure of themselves.
In some cases, a teen might start to change how they dress, who they hang out with, or even their values—all to gain acceptance. They might go against their better judgment or even break family rules, just to avoid feeling like the odd one out.
The good news? Parents and carers can help their teens navigate peer influence with confidence. Here are a few simple strategies:
- Practice saying “no.” Role-play situations where your teen might feel pressured, and help them rehearse confident responses that feel natural—not confrontational.
- Praise good decisions. When your teen resists negative pressure, acknowledge it. Reinforcing their choices builds resilience and self-trust.
- Be curious, not critical. If they mess up, ask questions before reacting. Teens are more likely to open up when they feel heard—not judged.
Most importantly, remind your teen to listen to their own gut. A simple rule of thumb: If something feels wrong, it probably is. But if it feels right, safe, and true to who they are—going along with the crowd might not be such a bad thing.
Because in the end, peer influence isn’t just about fitting in. It’s about learning how to stand tall—sometimes with your friends, and sometimes in spite of them.
Image courtesy of Ernest Malimon – UnSplash
