So, you’re getting ready for a date? Here’s the thing: no matter how confident you are in everyday life, first dates can bring out nerves we were not aware of. A general rule of thumb is the more you like someone, the more nervous you can become. It’s true! Unless you are extremely outgoing, there can be times when the conversation is stilted. To get you prepped for your date, here’s my first date conversation guide…
Topics to Steer Clear of
Boring, generic getting-to-know-you type questions
Do you really care how long they’ve been at their current job? We can do better than this. Instead, focus on questions that get to who they are, rather than what they do.
Religion, politics and finances
These are the normal no-go zones for first date conversation, as a lot of people find these topics boring, and the risk of saying something offensive is also high.
Negativity
Remember, you are on a date, not in a counselling session. Conversation that is negative, or too serious, can be quite draining to anyone.
Past relationships
Based on our observation at Ideal, 90 per cent of people who discuss their relationship history on a first date simply don’t get a second date. How romantic would it be to have your ex on your date with you? That is what you are doing when you talk about them. Your date assumes you are still living in the past; and perhaps you are?
What if your date asks why your previous relationships ended?
Apply the 10-second rule. In 10 seconds, your answer needs to be brief, honest, stated with eye contact, without emotion. At precisely that moment, you change the subject by asking your date a question about them. Try something like, “We grew apart. It happens a lot. You seem far more interesting, so tell me more about yourself.
Interesting Topics of Conversation
We like to tell our clients at Ideal Introductions to try and keep the conversation even. It should be like ping pong, but remember to remain genuinely interested in what your date has to say.
For those who need a little extra help with conversation, here are some topics you may find helpful:
Travel
Favourite destinations or places you both would like to visit in the future. What type of holidays do you each enjoy? What different countries would you each like to live in and why?
Food
What’s their favourite cuisine? What restaurants have you both had great experiences at?
Music genres
What did you both grow up listening to? Think of concerts you’ve been to and favourite artists that you both would love to see.
Books
What types of books do they read? Who are their favourite authors?
Career
Dig deeper! How did they get into their field? What do they enjoy most about their job? Why are they passionate about their career?
Passions
What drives you as individuals? What are your goals for the future? When are you your happiest?
Hobbies
What do you both do on weekends? Do you have an exciting hobby? Perhaps you share the same interest!
Hypothetical questions
What would they do if money wasn’t an issue? Would they rather travel for a year, or spend a year writing a novel? When you ask that, you’re going to get to the core of who they actually are.
Extra Date Tips
What’s arguably just as important as a great conversation when it comes to date night? It’s your dining experience! Because a bad dinner date can really ruin your evening, we know. Here are some things we remind our clients before their big date:
Date food
Pick things that are easy to eat, not too messy, but something you’ll still enjoy. If you’re eating steak, a medium rare cook is the easiest to cut and chew through. Gnocchi is probably easier to eat than spaghetti. And if you can take fish, it would be the easiest food to eat.
Checking your smile
Make sure you don’t have anything stuck in your teeth and take a mint right after dinner.
Most importantly, remember to be confident and have fun! Because confidence and positivity are sexy.
