Justine Williams – Get It Magazine

Government-accredited, health fund-registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, counsellor, author, and professional member of the Australian Society of Clinical Hypnotherapy.
Qualifications in neuroscience, neuro-linguistic programming, hypnotherapy, and meditation.

Articles by Justine Williams

5 articles published

Health and Wellness

Why friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones

“A friend is someone who knows all of you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard And that is exactly why it hurts so deeply when a friendship falls apart. Unlike romance, there is often an unspoken belief that friendship will be a constant in an unpredictable world. Friends become our safe place, our chosen family, the people we imagine will be beside us for the long haul. Whether it is a lifelong companion from childhood or a newer connection formed later in life, close friends know our backstory and our vulnerabilities. They see us at our most unfiltered, through life’s highs and lows, and accept us just as we are. That kind of connection feels rare and deeply comforting. Think about the warmth that comes from sharing dreams, secrets and stories over coffee or a glass of wine. Those moments are not just emotionally nourishing, they also trigger powerful chemical reactions in the body. Laughter and connection release dopamine and endorphins, trust encourages oxytocin, and the feeling of being valued strengthens serotonin. Friendship does more than lift our mood, it helps calm our nervous system and brings a sense of ease. When life becomes heavy, friends often show up in meaningful ways. They organise meals, check in without being asked, help with the kids or simply sit beside us when words feel hard to find. Over time, a quiet reliability forms. Because the connection feels so nourishing, we may overlook small frustrations and remind ourselves that no friendship is perfect. We soften, adjust and make space for one another, creating a protective bubble in an otherwise busy world. In neuroscience, this sense of safety is called belonging. Our brains are wired for it. In early human history, belonging to a group meant survival. We shared resources, protected one another and stayed alert to danger together. That wiring still exists today. When we feel we belong, our nervous system settles into a state of safety. So when a friendship breaks down, the grief can feel surprisingly intense. The person we relied on is suddenly absent, and the loss can trigger deep feelings of rejection. It may feel disorienting, like losing a steady anchor we never imagined would disappear. Romantic relationships can be exhilarating, full of excitement and possibility. Yet many of us understand, somewhere deep down, that romance carries risk. Hearts can break and relationships can end, and it is often our friends who help us through those moments. When a trusted friendship ends, it can feel as though a piece of our emotional foundation has shifted. The pain is not only about losing the person, but also about losing the sense of belonging that existed within the friendship. It is not necessarily a failure, but sometimes a reminder that certain relationships are only meant for a season. To help navigate the loss of a friendship, therapist Justine Williams suggests a gentle three-step approach: see, feel and hear. First, see the friendship clearly. Try to view it with perspective, noticing it as it truly was rather than through an idealised lens. Focus your energy on the people who genuinely lift you up and value you. Next, feel your grief rather than pushing it away. Allow sadness to move through you and practise compassion towards yourself. Accept what you cannot control, and if you feel stuck, seeking professional support can help untangle lingering guilt or self-doubt. Finally, hear your inner wisdom. Ask yourself what advice you would offer a child, sibling or close friend in the same situation. Trust that guidance and allow yourself the time and space needed to heal. Friendship breakups can be deeply painful, but they can also invite reflection, growth and a renewed understanding of what connection truly means. By Justine Williamswww.thefeelgoodstudio.com.au Instagram: @thefeelgoodstudio

By Justine Williams

Health and Wellness

The things women stop pretending to enjoy after 40

By Justine Williams Somewhere in your forties, something shifts. If you are not knee-deep in raising children or standing at the peak of your career, you may find yourself quietly planting the seeds for the next chapter of life. And while the magic that unfolds in your fifties deserves its own story, the fabulous forties bring a transformation all of their own. Turning 40 can feel like being welcomed into a secret society of women who finally know themselves. Along with the wisdom comes a few unexpected gifts. Your chin may suddenly sprout a stubborn dark hair that appears overnight, your memory might occasionally play hide- and-seek, and your body begins to change in ways your wardrobe never anticipated. Jeans feel tighter, aches appear without invitation, and yet something surprising happens. You start choosing your battles differently. By this stage of life, many women realise they no longer have the energy to pretend. The wine nights with draining company begin to lose their appeal. Shoes that look beautiful but feel impossible to walk in quietly make their way to the donation pile. Even the small rituals we once tolerated, endless small talk or saying yes to every invitation, begin to fade. There is a growing awareness that time and energy are valuable resources. Where once we might have chased spontaneity at any cost, the idea of a good meal, a comfortable chair and a peaceful evening can feel far more appealing. It is not about becoming boring. It is about becoming selective. The French often speak about effortless elegance, dressing and then removing one thing to create balance. The same philosophy can be applied to life. Emotional trimming, social pruning and healthy boundaries become less about restriction and more about clarity. In your forties, putting yourself first no longer feels selfish. It feels necessary. Many women describe hearing their inner voice more clearly during this decade. Self- esteem strengthens, confidence grows and there is a quiet understanding that perfection is overrated. Laughter replaces pressure, genuine connection matters more than obligation, and authenticity becomes the new standard. This stage of life is not about losing who you were. It is about embracing who you have become. The forties invite you to stop performing and start living, to choose joy with intention and to recognise the wiser, more radiant version of yourself that has been quietly waiting to emerge.

By Justine Williams

Health and Wellness

Do you not know how to say ‘No’?

In a world where social approval often feels like currency, many of us find ourselves entangled in the web of people pleasing. But what exactly is people pleasing, and why do we do it? More importantly, how can we break free from this exhausting cycle? Let’s delve into these questions and explore 3 techniques to reclaim our happiness. Understanding People Pleasing People pleasing is a behavioural pattern where we prioritise the approval and acceptance of others over our own needs and desires. It can stem from a deep-seated fear of rejection, criticism, or conflict that drives us to seek validation by doing or giving to others, even at the cost of our own wellbeing and true feelings. The action of people pleasing often leads to resentment, burnout, and a loss of self-esteem. Like white ants in a house that chew away a house’s foundations, people pleasing erodes our confidence and self-worth. Why Do We Do It? The roots of people pleasing may be traced to childhood, where conditional love, praise, and acceptance trained us to believe that only by meeting others’ expectations, we wouldn’t endure the pain of rejection. Rather, we replaced fear with the desire to fit in and the sense of security that gives us. The challenge comes though when we people please and put others needs and wishes above our own. This can lead to underlying feelings of resentment, being unfulfilled in relationships, and not feeling respected. One of the most profound realisations that can jolt us out of the habit of people pleasing is understanding and feeling the following truth deeply: No one respects a people-pleaser! Ironically, the very reason we engage in people-pleasing behaviour is because we crave respect. If hearing that wasn’t enough to create an instant change in your psyche, then consider these 3 techniques to break free: 1. Set Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in combating people pleasing tendencies. Practice saying ‘no’ when a request compromises your values, energy levels, or wellbeing. Communicate your boundaries assertively yet respectfully, i.e., “I appreciate you trusting me enough to babysit your son. Unfortunately, that date does not work for me.” You don’t need to provide an explanation for your reasoning or overexplain anything. Make a decision and find a way to say no with ease and grace. 2. Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you offer others. Acknowledge that perfection is unrealistic and that mistakes are opportunities for growth. Self-compassion strengthens resilience and self-esteem, therefore reducing the need for external validation. An easy way to create self-compassion is to ask yourself, “If this were my child or best friend in this situation, what advice would I give them right now?” 3. Seek Support: Find a therapist you feel a rapport with who can not only provide encouragement and perspective but can pass on their professional wisdom and workshop ideas that are comfortable for you. In the end, breaking free from people pleasing isn’t just about asserting yourself; it’s about honouring your inner voice and embracing the power of feeling good. This is your one true precious life, and it’s your time now to flourish. How to Break Free By Justine Williams Justine is a multi-award-winning clinical Hypnotherapist and children’s author.

By Justine Williams

Health and Wellness

Guilt-Free Self-Care

Why Choosing You Isn’t Selfish By Justine Williams Why does guilt creep in the moment you choose to care for yourself? You pour a quiet cup of tea. You fantasize about a weekend retreat. You crave just one hour alone to walk, stretch, or simply sit in silence. But you don’t follow through, because guilt shows up, whispering: “What about the kids? The homework? The lunches?” And just like that, you’re back on the treadmill. Not because you’ve done something wrong, but because you dared to do something just for you. As mothers, we adore our children. With all our hearts. We work hard, we carry the mental load, we juggle school forms and sport, run households, careers, emotional check-ins, and everything in between. And when we hit empty, we still keep giving. So why does pausing feel so hard? Part of it is biological. Our nervous systems are wired to scan for our children’s safety and wellbeing. Part of it is societal, we’ve internalised the message that mothers put themselves last. And that can take a toll. Research shows that mothers who consistently neglect their own needs are at increased risk of burnout, anxiety, depression and even resentment, making it harder to be present, patient, or joyful with the very people we love most. Studies by Mikolajczak (2018) found that maternal burnout specifically affects not only mothers’ wellbeing but also their children’s emotional security. Here’s the truth: self-care doesn’t take you away from your family. It gives them the best of you, not what’s left of you. To shift out of self-care guilt, start with a reframe: “I feel guilty resting” → “I’m recharging to show up fully.” “I should be doing more” → “I’ve done enough today.” “Everyone needs me” → “I need myself, too.” Small steps matter. Start with five quiet minutes. Schedule a monthly coffee date with yourself. Create a “self-care alarm” that’s non-negotiable. Ask for help. Say no without over- explaining. Create your own permission slip: You are allowed to prioritise yourself. It’s a requirement. Because when you choose health, energy, and mental wellbeing, you’re not just caring for yourself. You’re leading by example. You’re teaching your children what boundaries and self-compassion look like. And ultimately, you’re teaching them the most important lesson of all: they deserve self-care and so do you. Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

By Justine Williams

Health and Wellness

Anchoring Yourself in the Storm: A toolkit for calming anxiety

By Justine Williams Navigating Anxiety: Your Guide to Finding Calm Anxiety can arrive suddenly, like a gust of wind knocking you off balance, or creep in quietly when life feels overwhelming—when guilt lingers, self-doubt grows, or stress builds up. What many don’t realise is that everyday factors can amplify anxiety. Too much caffeine, dehydration, or low levels of vitamins B and D can heighten an already sensitive nervous system, turning a whisper of unease into a roar. Anxiety wears many disguises. It may appear as racing thoughts, excessive worry, difficulty sleeping, hyperventilation, or the sudden urge to escape. Some people overthink; others shut down completely. But here’s the truth: anxiety is not a sign that you are falling apart. It’s a signal that you need support and the right tools to regain balance. A Toolkit for Calming Anxious Moments Building a personal toolkit can provide comfort when anxiety strikes. Here are a few strategies to help you navigate anxious moments with greater ease. Your First Step: Seek Professional Support If anxiety is affecting your daily life, seek professional support. A GP can be your first point of contact, offering guidance and next steps. The 4/6 Breath – Your Inner Anchor When anxiety sets in, breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. A simple yet effective technique to calm your nervous system is the 4/6 breath: Inhale through your nose for four counts. Exhale slowly through your mouth for six counts. Repeat ten times if comfortable. This technique reassures your body that you are safe and in control. Know Your Triggers and Plan Ahead Anxiety thrives in uncertainty, but awareness and boundaries can help you regain control. If you feel overwhelmed, reflect on past experiences. How did you overcome challenging feelings? Identifying triggers and allowing yourself to say no is like carrying a map through unfamiliar terrain. A Pocketful of Calm – Your Personal Lifeline Imagine a boat being pulled by a strong current. Now picture dropping an anchor—something that steadies the boat. Create your own calming anchor that you can access anytime, anywhere. It could be: A soothing scent A playlist that grounds you A meditation or breathing exercise A grounding object, like a stone or fabric A handwritten or voice note reminding you: breathe, this feeling will pass Having access to familiar soothing tools can help you navigate anxious moments with greater ease.

By Justine Williams