Family

10 More Minutes – A Father’s Gift of Time

16 April 20253 min read

In the whirlwind of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the profound impact that a mere ten minutes can have on our children’s lives. The Fathering Project’s “10 More Minutes” initiative emphasises that dedicating just ten additional minutes of quality time each day can significantly influence a child’s development.

Research underscores the importance of quality time between fathers and their children. Engaging in meaningful interactions, even for short periods, can:

Enhance Emotional Well-being: Children feel more secure and valued.
Boost Academic Performance: Regular engagement fosters a love for learning.
Increase Self-esteem: Children develop a stronger sense of self-worth.
Promote Cognitive Development: Stimulating activities encourage critical thinking.

Presence With Purpose

It’s not merely about being present, but being present with purpose. Whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, those extra minutes can create lasting memories and strengthen your bond.

Think back to your own childhood. Often, it’s the simple moments – playing catch, bedtime stories, or impromptu kitchen dance parties – that leave an lasting mark. By intentionally setting aside time, you’re not just filling minutes but building a reservoir of cherished experiences for your child.

Practical Ways to Spend Ten More Minutes

Incorporating extra quality time doesn’t require grand gestures. Here are some simple yet impactful activities:

Outdoor Adventures: Take a walk along the beautiful Gold Coast beaches or explore local parks.
Creative Projects: Engage in arts and crafts, like painting seashells or building sandcastles.
Reading Together: Dive into a new book or let your child pick their favourite story.
Cooking: Prepare a simple meal or bake treats together, making the kitchen a fun learning space.

Dr. Bruce Robinson, founder of The Fathering Project, offers two key strategies to maximise the effectiveness of these ten minutes:

Be Intentional: “Right now, pick up your phone or your diary and write it in: 10 more minutes with my kids.” By scheduling this time, you demonstrate its importance and ensure it becomes a consistent part of your routine.
Listen Actively: “It’s not about you talking to your kids and giving them advice; it’s about listening. That makes it a success.” Engage in conversations where your child leads the dialogue. Ask them about their friends, school, interests – be it music, sports, or hobbies. This approach fosters trust and openness, making your child feel heard and valued.

One of the most effective ways to invest this time is through “Dad Dates.” These are special one-on-one outings where fathers can connect deeply with each child. The Fathering Project offers a comprehensive Dad Date Tip Sheet, providing creative ideas and guidance to make these moments memorable.

To get started and for more inspiration, download the Dad Date Tip Sheet from The Fathering Project’s website: thefatheringproject.org/dad-date-tip-sheet

Time is fleeting, but the memories we create with our children are timeless. By dedicating just ten more minutes each day, you’re investing in your child’s future, fostering a relationship built on love, trust, and shared experiences.

Remember, it’s not about the quantity of time, but the quality. Those extra ten minutes can make all the difference.

Top Tips about Dad Dates!

Dad Dates are one child at a time, with no-one else and no interruptions.
Book it in and try not to cancel. Make a point of scheduling this in your diary, just like a meeting or a job. Don’t leave these Dates to chance.
Focus on connecting. Help your child to feel like they are valued, loved and worth your time.
Keep it Dad Dates don’t have to be elaborate; a simple coffee, lunch or just going for a walk are easy ways to create one-on-one time.
It can sometimes be Occasionally, try taking your child somewhere they’ve been wanting to try, this will help them know you listen to them.
Be engaged. Turn your mobile on silent and ensure there are no distractions, like the TV playing in the background (engage with them to make them feel worthy).

Check out the video.

When Your Newborn Won’t Settle: A Parent’s Guide to the Crying Peak

Around the six-week mark, plenty of parents start to wonder what they are doing wrong. The baby who slept through visitors in the first fortnight is now crying through the evening, and the things that worked last week have stopped working. There is a good chance nothing is wrong at all. According to clinical guidance from the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, crying typically peaks at 6 to 8 weeks of age, averaging 2 to 3 hours a day, and improves by 3 to 4 months. It is often worse in the late afternoon or evening, may last for hours and can be hard to soothe, even in a baby who is well and thriving. Knowing that does not make 6pm any quieter, but it does help to know that the peak has an end. Here is what can get you through it, and where to find support. Normal Crying, Colic or Something Else? Most parents hear the word “colic” pretty quickly, often from a well-meaning relative. It helps to understand what colic is and how it differs from the ordinary crying peak, because the two can look very similar at 2am. The more important question is whether your baby seems unwell. Trust your instincts here. If you are worried, if your baby is not feeding or is having fewer wet nappies, or if the crying has come on suddenly or sounds different from usual, get your baby checked by a GP or your child and family health nurse. No one will mind that you asked. One rule has no wait-and-see attached. Pregnancy, Birth and Baby advises taking a baby under 3 months with a fever of 38°C or more to the nearest hospital emergency department immediately, even if there are no other signs of illness. If your baby is drowsy or having trouble breathing, call triple zero (000). Try One Thing at a Time When a baby is crying, it is tempting to try everything at once: feed, rock, change, jiggle, walk, repeat. Sometimes that adds to the overwhelm, for both of you. Try working through a short list slowly, giving each idea a few minutes: Check the basics: Is it time for a feed, a burp or a clean nappy? Reduce the noise and light: Evenings can be busy, so move somewhere dim and quiet. Hold your baby close: Skin-to-skin contact or a carrier can help some babies settle. Add gentle movement: Slow rocking, swaying or a walk around the house may help. Change the scene: A stroll outside in the cooler air can reset everyone, including you. No single trick works for every baby, and what worked on Tuesday may not work on Thursday. That says nothing about your parenting. Plan for the Hard Part of the Day If evenings are the difficult time, plan around them. Cook during the day if you can, or keep some simple meals in the freezer. When friends ask what they can do, tell them that a lasagne would be wonderful. If you have a partner or family member at home, agree in advance who takes which shift, so neither of you has to negotiate at the end of a long day. Protect some sleep too. Even one uninterrupted block a day, while someone else takes the baby, can change how the next day feels. It Is Always OK to Put Your Baby Down Every parent reaches a point where they have had enough, and it is an important moment to recognise. If you feel overwhelmed or angry, put your baby down on their back in a safe place like their cot, walk out and take a few minutes to breathe. Call someone if you can. This matters. The Royal Children’s Hospital notes that the peak period of infant crying is strongly linked to an increased risk of abusive head trauma, so stepping away is a responsible choice. A crying baby in a safe cot is OK for a few minutes. Never shake a baby. Where to Get Help You do not have to wait until things are desperate. These services exist for exactly this stage: Your child and family health nurse: Every state and territory has a free child and family health nursing service, and your nurse can talk you through normal infant behaviour, sleep and settling. Pregnancy, Birth and Baby: Call 1800 882 436 to speak to a maternal child health nurse, from 7am to midnight (AET), 7 days a week. PANDA National Helpline: Call 1300 726 306, 7 days a week, if you are struggling with your mood or anxiety. If your low mood or anxiety is not lifting, tell your GP or nurse as well, because support is available for you as well as for your baby. It Does Get Better The crying peak can feel endless when you are in the middle of it, but it does pass, usually within a matter of weeks. Lean on your people, ask for help early and go easy on yourself. Nobody finds this stage easy, even if their Instagram suggests otherwise.

Family

The Career Conversation Parents Are Struggling to Have

Parents have always worried about their children’s futures. But as technology rapidly changes the way we live and work, knowing what advice to give has become increasingly complicated. New Australian research commissioned by educator and careers mentor Dr Jo Winchester found one in three parents considers knowing how to guide their child towards the right career path their biggest parenting challenge. And perhaps that’s understandable. The traditional advice many parents grew up with – get a degree, find a stable job and follow a clear career path – doesn’t necessarily fit the working world their children are entering. A single mother of three and educator of more than 25 years, Dr Jo understands the uncertainty. “I know the silent panic that can sit behind these conversations,” she says. “You want to give your children the right advice, protect them from making the wrong choices and help them build a secure future, but they’re growing up in a world that looks completely different from the one we entered.” Why career conversations feel so difficult It’s not just parents feeling the pressure. The research found more than one in four young people considered asking their parents for career advice particularly daunting. Dr Jo believes these conversations have become emotionally loaded because they’re about much more than simply choosing a job. Young people are questioning whether they’ll be financially secure, find meaningful work and whether the adults advising them truly understand the world they’re stepping into. Parents, meanwhile, can worry that outdated advice may do more harm than good. But uncertainty shouldn’t be mistaken for a lack of ambition. “They’re simply overwhelmed, and the cost of getting it wrong feels incredibly high,” Dr Jo says. So how can parents help when none of us really knows what the workforce will look like in another decade? Start with curiosity Rather than immediately directing your child towards a particular career, start by listening. Ask what excites them, what worries them, what they believe they’re good at and what they’d like to explore. Young people are more likely to talk openly when they feel heard rather than judged or steered towards a predetermined outcome. Talk about skills, not dream jobs The pressure to choose one ‘perfect’ career can be overwhelming – and it may no longer reflect the reality of modern working life. Instead, help your child recognise the skills they enjoy using and the environments in which they thrive. Part-time jobs, volunteering, work experience, hobbies and personal interests can all provide valuable clues about what they enjoy – and what they don’t – before making bigger decisions about study or work. Remind them they don’t need all the answers Perhaps one of the most valuable things parents can do is take some of the pressure off. Careers are rarely linear. People change jobs, industries and directions throughout their working lives. The path someone chooses at 18 doesn’t have to be the one they follow at 28 or 48. Rather than expecting young people to map out their entire future, encourage them to focus on the next useful step. Ultimately, parents don’t need to predict the jobs of the future. What young people may need most is someone who can help them develop confidence, self-awareness and the ability to adapt – while reminding them that changing their mind along the way is perfectly okay.

Family

Things worth saying out loud!

Things worth saying out loud! Following our emotional revelation that we should probably tell people we love them while they’re still breathing, here’s your completely unofficial guide to expressing your feelings. Scenario One: The Wonderful Human You know the one. The friend who answers the phone every single time. The workmate who quietly fixes your disasters. The golf buddy who never laughs (at least to your face) when your ball lands in another postcode. The hairdresser who’s been your therapist for fifteen years. Go tell them. Not tomorrow. Not “one day.” Today. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Resist hiring a skywriter or arriving with a string quartet. A simple, “You know what? I’m really grateful you’re in my life,” will do just fine. There’s a very good chance they’ll remember it forever. Scenario Two: The Complete Pain in the Neck Now… there may also be someone who’s made your life unnecessarily difficult. We’re not suggesting you march into their office carrying a PowerPoint presentation titled Reasons You Exhaust Me. Nor should you begin a family barbecue with, “I’ve actually been making a list since 1998.” Some thoughts are better edited before publication. Instead, ask yourself one question. Will saying this make life better? If the answer is yes, say it kindly. If the answer is no… perhaps gift yourself the freedom of letting it go instead. Not because they deserve your kindness. Because you deserve your peace. Life’s too short to carry around emotional baggage belonging to someone else. So, here’s a challenge. This week, thank someone who’s made your life better. Send the text. Make the call. Write the note. Buy the coffee. Give the hug. (Just maybe check that they’re a hugger first. Human Resources exists for a reason.) Smile at the checkout operator. Tell your GP you appreciate them. Tell your children’s teacher they’re doing a great job. Tell your partner they still make you laugh. And if you happen to suffer from what the internet lovingly calls “Resting Bitch Face”, as I do, perhaps warn people that underneath your expression of mild disappointment is actually a perfectly lovely human being. Because here’s the funny thing. The people who change our lives rarely know they’ve done it. Until someone tells them. Let’s make sure they don’t have to attend their own funeral to finally hear it. The Get it Challenge Before you put this magazine down, send one text. Tell one person exactly why they matter to you. You might make their entire week. And if you’ve been carrying around something you need to let go of… maybe today is the day you set yourself free.

Family

Don’t Wait Until They’re Gone – Say It Before It’s Too Late

Have you ever noticed that we become the most eloquent version of ourselves after someone dies? Suddenly the words flow. They were the best dad. The kindest neighbour. The teacher who changed my life. The workmate who always believed in me. The friend who never judged me. The aunt who somehow knew exactly what to say. We stand in churches, write beautiful Facebook tributes and leave flowers with heartfelt notes. And the one person who needed to hear every single word… never does. Why is it so difficult while they’re still here? Maybe we’re embarrassed. Maybe we assume they already know. Maybe life gets busy and we think there will always be another birthday, another coffee, another Christmas, another phone call. Until there isn’t. Most of us carry quiet gratitude for people who’ve shaped our lives in ways they will probably never realise. The therapist who helped us through our darkest season. The coach who saw potential before we did. The colleague who made Mondays bearable. The grandparent who made us feel safe. The neighbour who always waved. Even the stranger whose kindness arrived on exactly the right day. What if they knew? Imagine hearing, “You made a difference to my life.” Not because you’ve won an award. Not because you’ve died. Simply because someone wanted you to know. The truth is, gratitude costs nothing, but it can become one of the most valuable gifts another person ever receives. A thirty- second conversation. A handwritten note. A text message sent for no reason other than to say, “Thank you. I appreciate you.” Those words have an extraordinary way of staying with people. And while we’re talking about honesty, perhaps it’s worth remembering that unresolved feelings have a habit of following us too. Not every relationship deserves another chapter, but many deserve closure. Sometimes peace comes from speaking with kindness instead of carrying resentment for years. Life is unpredictable. None of us knows how many conversations we have left. So maybe today is the day you stop assuming people know how much they matter. Tell your parents you love them. Tell your friend they’ve carried you through difficult times. Tell your mentor they changed your direction. Tell your partner they’re still your favourite person. Tell the receptionist who’s always smiling that she brightens your day. Because one day, people will gather to tell wonderful stories about all of us. Wouldn’t it be nice if we’d already heard some of them while we were alive?