Family

Family

The Wild West of Baby Sleep

How vulnerable parents became a business model It is 2am on a Tuesday night. Your partner snores beside you while your eyes feel like you have been out partying until dawn. Except you are in your thirties, and the “party” has been happening every night for the past 13 weeks with your newborn. No late-night cheeseburgers. No sleeping in. Just another feed, another resettle, another scroll through your phone to stay awake. You are not alone. You are in multiple newborn Facebook groups, and your TikTok and Instagram feeds are perfectly curated with baby content. During night feeds, you can scroll endlessly. But with every swipe comes another advertisement. Magnesium sprays. Red lights. Colic cures. And countless sleep consultants promising that if you pay, your baby will sleep through the night in 72 hours. Sleep deprivation is more than a rite of passage for new parents. It is a public health issue. In the first year postpartum, anxiety and depression rates rise, cognitive function drops and decision-making becomes harder. Neurologically, exhausted parents are less able to separate fact from fiction. In any other context, this would be described as a vulnerable population. In motherhood, we simply call it normal. In regulated health professions, vulnerable groups are protected by clear guardrails such as ethical standards, complaint pathways, ongoing education and accountability. In the infant sleep industry, those safeguards largely do not exist. The title “sleep consultant” sounds official, yet there is no universal qualification, no minimum training requirement and no licensing body. Anyone can complete a short course, print a certificate or rebrand once their own baby begins sleeping well. This matters because infant sleep is not only about rest. It is connected to neurodevelopment, emotional regulation, feeding and parental wellbeing. The advice given during these early months can have lasting effects, yet without regulation there is little oversight. Practices are often marketed as gentle or evidence-based without clear accountability. My inbox regularly fills with stories from exhausted parents who sought help and felt more overwhelmed afterwards. Some describe being told to avoid eye contact with their baby regardless of distress. Others recall consultants speaking through monitors, instructing them to leave the room while their baby cried. There are reports of expensive “personalised” plans that appear copied and pasted, or parents being told their baby would never learn to sleep because they were too responsive.The responsibility does not sit with parents searching for support at 4am. It lies with a system that makes it easy to market sleep solutions to exhausted families while making it difficult to distinguish genuine expertise from clever branding. If you are reading this in the middle of the night with a baby on your chest, know this. It does change. My daughter is three now, and we sleep. Not because of rigid schedules or costly programmes, but because babies grow and sleep evolves over time. Your baby is not broken. The system around sleep support simply needs stronger boundaries. Until regulation improves, discernment is one of the most powerful tools parents have. Ask questions. Seek evidence. Trust your instincts. And feel free to ignore anyone sliding into your messages insisting your tiny baby should already be sleeping through the night.

Family

The Manosphere didn’t get more extreme. It got more normal.

By Andrew Harmer A follow-up: when we last looked, the worry was that boys might find their way to something dangerous. The unsettling truth is they no longer have to go anywhere. When we last wrote about the manosphere, the advice was mostly about noticing. Learn the slang. Recognise the influencers. Watch what the algorithm serves a curious teenager who searches “how to be more confident.” The implicit promise was that if you could see the thing, you could do something about it. But that advice assumed the manosphere was a place – somewhere a boy goes and somewhere a parent might steer him away from. The harder truth, and the reason it’s worth returning to so soon, is that it has largely stopped being a place at all. It got quieter, and quieter and has turned out to be worse. The clearest sign isn’t a forum or a manifesto. It’s a teacher who can no longer tell the difference between a fourteen-year-old’s joke and a fourteen-year-old’s belief. In a 2026 study of more than a hundred Australian teachers, researchers described boys’ misogyny becoming more open, more confident and less checked since around 2022 – delivered often, as humour that dares an adult to object. Push back and you’re told to relax. It was just a joke. The ambiguity is the strategy. When the Netflix drama Adolescence landed in 2025, parents who had never heard the word found themselves Googling it at midnight. For a few weeks the manosphere was front-page news – but the version that reached the mainstream was no longer the one anyone had been bracing for. We thought we understood this For years, the story had villains you could name. Andrew Tate, banned from platform after platform through 2022. Forums with rules and moderators. A pipeline you could trace and warn your kids about. It felt, briefly, knowable – a foreign country with a border you could watch. Then it moved faster than anyone could map. The named accounts mattered less than the millions of smaller ones repeating the same script with the edges sanded off. How it actually works now Researchers have a word for it: normiefication – fringe ideas migrating onto mainstream platforms and shedding their warning labels along the way. What’s left is sometimes called “manosphere light”: less overtly toxic than the old forums, and for exactly that reason, far greater in reach. The content that finds a lonely boy today usually isn’t a creed. It’s a workout split, a budgeting tip, a clip about discipline – with the ideology folded in so gently that he never experiences it as ideology at all. The algorithm didn’t simply amplify this material. It camouflaged it inside ordinary self-improvement. And it is no longer a white, Western phenomenon: the same scripts now circulate among boys across cultures and continents. And we saw what it cost The damage that follows is mostly quiet, too. There are headlines – the documented links between this content and gender-based violence are real and growing – but the larger story is the slower erosion. The friendship that curdles. The classroom where girls report feeling unsafe around boys they have known for years. The son whose easy warmth seems to be hardening into something his parents half-recognise and can’t quite name. Health researchers have charted another cost: influencers reframing ordinary tiredness, stress or low mood as a medical deficiency, then selling the cure. A normal adolescence, repackaged as a problem with a product attached. So, what did we actually try? The response has finally arrived. In early 2026 Australia’s national women’s safety body released a manosphere guide for schools, and a Monash University team began training teachers to use it. Not-for-profits such as The Man Cave and Tomorrow Man are in classrooms doing the patient work of offering boys a different script for being a man. Much of it, though, is still built for the old problem – for the boy radicalised dramatically, not the one who drifted there one harmless-seeming video at a time. And the work is now contested ground. The school guide drew accusations of anti-male bias – a sign this is no longer a settled question handled quietly by experts. It is a live political fight that now reaches the top of public life: in April, Julia Gillard – Australia’s only female prime minister – used a Women Deliver keynote in Melbourne to warn that the manosphere’s organised pushback against gender equality can’t be swept under the rug. What it means Underneath the ideology is something the critics get half-right: a great many boys are genuinely lonely, genuinely adrift, genuinely unsure what they are for. That ache is real, and pretending otherwise is part of why blunt “it’s all toxic” messaging keeps failing. Gillard conceded as much from that same podium, suggesting the movement had not always been inclusive enough of men – a striking admission from the author of Australian politics’ most famous misogyny speech. The problem is that the people meeting that need most reliably are the ones profiting from keeping it unmet. Which is why this is harder than it looks. You can moderate a forum. You can ban an account. You cannot moderate the cultural wallpaper – and wallpaper is what the manosphere has quietly become. Not a place teenagers visit, but the texture of the internet they grew up inside. When we last checked, the fear was that boys might find their way to something extreme. The follow-up is stranger than that. They didn’t have to find it. The manosphere didn’t win by being extreme. It won by becoming ordinary.

Family

Young Men, Influencers, and the Shaping of Masculinity

Words: Andrew Harmer In an era defined by social media, the influence of online personalities on young minds has never been more profound – particularly when it comes to ideas about masculinity. A recent survey by the Movember Institute has revealed a striking statistic: 68% of young Australian men actively engage with “masculinity influencers” across platforms like Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and emerging social apps. These influencers range from fitness gurus and lifestyle coaches to motivational speakers and self-styled “alpha male” advocates. Their content often revolves around personal development, financial success, physical fitness, dating advice, and what it means to “be a real man” in today’s society. While this has created opportunities for positive role modelling and self-improvement, health experts are sounding the alarm about the potential risks these messages may carry for young men’s mental health and identity formation. At the heart of the concern is the way masculinity is being defined – or more accurately, narrowed. Many influencers present a version of manhood that prioritizes dominance, stoicism, physical prowess, and material success, often discouraging emotional vulnerability or non-traditional expressions of masculinity. According to psychologists, when young men are repeatedly exposed to rigid or hyper-masculine ideals, it can create internal conflicts. Boys who do not or cannot align with these portrayals may feel inadequate, ashamed, or isolated. Mental health professionals warn that such influences can contribute to anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, and even exacerbate feelings of loneliness. This is particularly concerning given that suicide remains the leading cause of death for Australian men aged 15–44, and social isolation is one of the most significant contributing factors. By promoting an unattainable or narrow version of manhood, influencers may – knowingly or unknowingly – deepen the struggles that young men already face. However, it’s important not to paint all masculinity influencers with the same brush. There are many who advocate for healthy masculinity – encouraging emotional intelligence, open communication, mental health support, and community building. Programs like Movember’s “Man of More Words” campaign highlight the need for men to talk openly about their feelings, and some influencers are positively reinforcing these messages. The conversation around masculinity is at a crossroads. Young men are seeking identity, purpose, and belonging in a fast-changing world, and online voices play a growing role in filling that void. The challenge, experts say, is ensuring that this influence is positive rather than damaging. Educational campaigns, mentorship programs, and open dialogues are being called for to help young men critically assess the messages they consume online. Initiatives in schools and community groups across Australia, including the Gold Coast, are also stepping in to create spaces where young men can discuss masculinity in broader, healthier terms – promoting self-worth that isn’t tied to outdated stereotypes. As we move further into 2025, the opportunity lies in balancing the empowerment that influencers can offer with the support and education young men need to thrive mentally, emotionally, and socially.

By Andrew Harmer

Family

10 More Minutes – A Father’s Gift of Time

In the whirlwind of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the profound impact that a mere ten minutes can have on our children’s lives. The Fathering Project’s “10 More Minutes” initiative emphasises that dedicating just ten additional minutes of quality time each day can significantly influence a child’s development. Research underscores the importance of quality time between fathers and their children. Engaging in meaningful interactions, even for short periods, can: Enhance Emotional Well-being: Children feel more secure and valued. Boost Academic Performance: Regular engagement fosters a love for learning. Increase Self-esteem: Children develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Promote Cognitive Development: Stimulating activities encourage critical thinking.   Presence With Purpose It’s not merely about being present, but being present with purpose. Whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, those extra minutes can create lasting memories and strengthen your bond. Think back to your own childhood. Often, it’s the simple moments – playing catch, bedtime stories, or impromptu kitchen dance parties – that leave an lasting mark. By intentionally setting aside time, you’re not just filling minutes but building a reservoir of cherished experiences for your child. Practical Ways to Spend Ten More Minutes Incorporating extra quality time doesn’t require grand gestures. Here are some simple yet impactful activities: Outdoor Adventures: Take a walk along the beautiful Gold Coast beaches or explore local parks. Creative Projects: Engage in arts and crafts, like painting seashells or building sandcastles. Reading Together: Dive into a new book or let your child pick their favourite story. Cooking: Prepare a simple meal or bake treats together, making the kitchen a fun learning space. Dr. Bruce Robinson, founder of The Fathering Project, offers two key strategies to maximise the effectiveness of these ten minutes: Be Intentional: “Right now, pick up your phone or your diary and write it in: 10 more minutes with my kids.” By scheduling this time, you demonstrate its importance and ensure it becomes a consistent part of your routine. Listen Actively: “It’s not about you talking to your kids and giving them advice; it’s about listening. That makes it a success.” Engage in conversations where your child leads the dialogue. Ask them about their friends, school, interests – be it music, sports, or hobbies. This approach fosters trust and openness, making your child feel heard and valued. One of the most effective ways to invest this time is through “Dad Dates.” These are special one-on-one outings where fathers can connect deeply with each child. The Fathering Project offers a comprehensive Dad Date Tip Sheet, providing creative ideas and guidance to make these moments memorable. To get started and for more inspiration, download the Dad Date Tip Sheet from The Fathering Project’s website: thefatheringproject.org/dad-date-tip-sheet Time is fleeting, but the memories we create with our children are timeless. By dedicating just ten more minutes each day, you’re investing in your child’s future, fostering a relationship built on love, trust, and shared experiences. Remember, it’s not about the quantity of time, but the quality. Those extra ten minutes can make all the difference. Top Tips about Dad Dates! Dad Dates are one child at a time, with no-one else and no interruptions. Book it in and try not to cancel. Make a point of scheduling this in your diary, just like a meeting or a job. Don’t leave these Dates to chance. Focus on connecting. Help your child to feel like they are valued, loved and worth your time. Keep it Dad Dates don’t have to be elaborate; a simple coffee, lunch or just going for a walk are easy ways to create one-on-one time. It can sometimes be Occasionally, try taking your child somewhere they’ve been wanting to try, this will help them know you listen to them. Be engaged. Turn your mobile on silent and ensure there are no distractions, like the TV playing in the background (engage with them to make them feel worthy). Check out the video.