The Hidden Online World Shaping Your Son (Parents Must Know This)

1 April 20264 min read

The research has been building quietly for years, but for most parents, it’s been invisible. When journalist Andrew Harmer began investigating the “manosphere” a network of online communities shaping how boys think about masculinity and relationships -he discovered something shocking: most families have no idea it exists.

If you’re raising teenage boys and this term is new to you, you’re not alone. Academics, teachers and youth workers have been sounding the alarm for years, yet the conversation has only recently begun to reach everyday families.

This isn’t meant to frighten you. It’s designed to help you understand what boys are seeing online and how to start meaningful conversations at home.

What Exactly Is the Manosphere?

The manosphere refers to an ecosystem of online communities promoting rigid ideas about masculinity. It includes men’s rights forums, “alpha male” influencers and self-styled dating or lifestyle coaches.

Here’s the crucial part: boys rarely go looking for extreme content. Many begin by searching for advice on fitness, confidence or relationships.

The videos often start with familiar self-improvement messages such as discipline and motivation before gradually introducing more harmful ideas about power, gender and entitlement.

Why This Goes Beyond Screen Time

While the content lives online, its effects do not. In Australia, one in four high school girls report feeling unsafe around male peers, with some behaviour linked to content boys consumed online.

Surveys such as the HILDA study have also found a rise in restrictive gender beliefs among young men.

The Health Risks Are Real Too

Health experts are raising concerns as well. A recent study by the University of Sydney and the University of Copenhagen found influencers linked to manosphere communities encouraging young men to pursue unnecessary testosterone testing and treatments.

The accounts analysed had millions of followers and often framed normal experiences like tiredness or stress as signs of medical deficiency.

“The problem isn’t that men care about their health,” said senior author Dr Brooke Nickel. “It’s that social media is medicalising normal experiences and selling young men a dangerous, often false diagnosis.”

Why Teenagers Fall for This Content

Adolescence is a time when identity and belonging feel urgent. The manosphere offers simple answers to complex emotions, encouraging boys to hide vulnerability, dominate socially and blame external forces for rejection or loneliness.

But here’s hope: research suggests many boys sense something is missing. They are not always fully convinced by what they see online, which means trusted adults still play a powerful role.

What Parents Can Actually Do

Experts say curiosity is more effective than confrontation. Instead of criticising influencers outright, start by asking your child what they enjoy watching and why.

Listening without judgement keeps conversations open.

Understand the Algorithm

Try creating a TikTok or YouTube account and searching phrases like “how to be more confident” or “how to talk to girls”. Watching what appears next offers insight into what your child’s digital world might look like.

Teaching media literacy is another powerful step. Explaining how outrage drives engagement and profit can help young people recognise when content is designed to provoke rather than support them.

Create Space for Real Feelings

Most importantly, create space for real emotions. When boys are encouraged to name feelings like embarrassment, rejection or loneliness, they are less likely to convert those feelings into anger or blame.

Your Influence Is Stronger Than You Think

Dr Stephanie Wescott from Monash University emphasises that parental influence remains strong, even when teenagers appear distant.

“Parents might think their teens aren’t interested in what they have to say,” she explains. “But it is still important to model emotionally healthy behaviour, because they are absolutely taking it in.”

Male role models also play a crucial part. Fathers, uncles, coaches and teachers who demonstrate respect and emotional openness help counter harmful narratives far more effectively than lectures ever could.

Starting the Conversation Today

If you’ve read this far, you’re already ahead. The manosphere thrives in silence and confusion, but open, imperfect conversations make a difference.

You don’t need to understand every online trend or piece of slang. You simply need curiosity, presence and a willingness to listen.

Because the goal isn’t to compete with the internet. It’s to make sure the voices shaping our boys’ lives include people who truly care about them.

For parents looking for additional support, professional resources and conversation guides can provide practical strategies for navigating these challenging discussions.

Manosphere Terms Parents Should Know

Term	What it means
Red pill / Blue pill	From The Matrix. “Taking the red pill” = accepting manosphere beliefs. Blue pill = remaining unaware.
Alpha / Beta / Sigma	Hierarchy ranking men. Alphas are dominant, betas average, sigmas idealised “lone wolves.”
Chad / Stacy	Chad = attractive dominant man. Stacy = attractive woman (used dismissively).
Incel	Involuntary celibate – men who blame women for their inability to find partners.
MGTOW	Men Going Their Own Way – men advocating separation from women.
Looksmaxxing	Maximising physical appearance, sometimes through extreme measures.
The Matrix	Mainstream society, which the manosphere claims is rigged against men.
High value man	Man meeting manosphere success criteria: wealth, dominance, multiple partners.
80/20 rule	Pseudoscientific claim that 80% of women only want the top 20% of men.

Young Men, Influencers, and the Shaping of Masculinity

Words: Andrew Harmer In an era defined by social media, the influence of online personalities on young minds has never been more profound – particularly when it comes to ideas about masculinity. A recent survey by the Movember Institute has revealed a striking statistic: 68% of young Australian men actively engage with “masculinity influencers” across platforms like Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and emerging social apps. These influencers range from fitness gurus and lifestyle coaches to motivational speakers and self-styled “alpha male” advocates. Their content often revolves around personal development, financial success, physical fitness, dating advice, and what it means to “be a real man” in today’s society. While this has created opportunities for positive role modelling and self-improvement, health experts are sounding the alarm about the potential risks these messages may carry for young men’s mental health and identity formation. At the heart of the concern is the way masculinity is being defined – or more accurately, narrowed. Many influencers present a version of manhood that prioritizes dominance, stoicism, physical prowess, and material success, often discouraging emotional vulnerability or non-traditional expressions of masculinity. According to psychologists, when young men are repeatedly exposed to rigid or hyper-masculine ideals, it can create internal conflicts. Boys who do not or cannot align with these portrayals may feel inadequate, ashamed, or isolated. Mental health professionals warn that such influences can contribute to anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, and even exacerbate feelings of loneliness. This is particularly concerning given that suicide remains the leading cause of death for Australian men aged 15–44, and social isolation is one of the most significant contributing factors. By promoting an unattainable or narrow version of manhood, influencers may – knowingly or unknowingly – deepen the struggles that young men already face. However, it’s important not to paint all masculinity influencers with the same brush. There are many who advocate for healthy masculinity – encouraging emotional intelligence, open communication, mental health support, and community building. Programs like Movember’s “Man of More Words” campaign highlight the need for men to talk openly about their feelings, and some influencers are positively reinforcing these messages. The conversation around masculinity is at a crossroads. Young men are seeking identity, purpose, and belonging in a fast-changing world, and online voices play a growing role in filling that void. The challenge, experts say, is ensuring that this influence is positive rather than damaging. Educational campaigns, mentorship programs, and open dialogues are being called for to help young men critically assess the messages they consume online. Initiatives in schools and community groups across Australia, including the Gold Coast, are also stepping in to create spaces where young men can discuss masculinity in broader, healthier terms – promoting self-worth that isn’t tied to outdated stereotypes. As we move further into 2025, the opportunity lies in balancing the empowerment that influencers can offer with the support and education young men need to thrive mentally, emotionally, and socially.

Mens Health

Why Grown Men Struggle to Make Friends (And How to Fix It)

Men are losing friends at alarming rates, but most won't talk about it. Here's how to build real connections as an adult.

Mens Health

The Men’s Shed

What an 85-year-old’s boredom taught me about what men really need. My dad said something the other night that stopped me mid-sentence. We were talking about nothing in particular, when he announced: “I’m bored.” It wasn’t a complaint. My father doesn’t complain much. It was a statement of fact, delivered by an 85-year-old man with good eyesight, good hands, and better stories than most people have sense to listen to. A man who used to run Rotary events, who fielded phone calls from members at all hours, who was always organising this or that. I’d never heard him use that word before. Bored. It sat between us like something broken. I started rattling off suggestions—things to fill the hours, activities different from his very regular routine. But I was missing the point. It wasn’t about doing something. It was about the shape his life had lost. Rotary had given him more than a project list. It had given him people who needed him, a phone that rang, a reason to be somewhere on Thursday nights. At some stage, the commitment got too much for his age, so he stepped back. The shed closed quietly. And now he was bored in a way that no hobby could fix. That’s when someone on a local Facebook page made an observation. A bloke had just moved from Sydney, posted looking to make friends, and within hours came a suggestion that stood out from all the others: join a Men’s Shed. I’d heard of the Sheds before—mostly in passing, the way you hear about things without really knowing what they are. But sitting there listening to my dad, I started digging. What I found wasn’t just a solution for him. It was something I’d been missing in my thinking about loneliness, about men, about what happens when the structure of your life falls away. WHAT A MEN’S SHED ACTUALLY IS Here’s what a Men’s Shed actually is: part workshop, part gathering place, entirely unpretentious. Walk in and you might see men restoring bicycles, fixing lawn mowers, or building furniture for local schools. You’ll see younger blokes learning from older ones, picking up skills and something about life in the process. But you’ll also see tea-bags, coffee cups, and a comfortable area where men can sit and talk—no agenda, no obligation. You can drop in for a cuppa. You can stay for a project. You can do both or neither. The point isn’t productivity. The point is presence. As one veteran shedder put it: “Down at the shed, we’ve got blokes who come in because it’s the only social interaction they get. Apart from Meals on Wheels or saying G’day to the shopkeeper when they buy their morning paper. And you know what? That’s bloody alright. That’s what the shed’s for.” It sounds small. It isn’t. THE COST OF LONELINESS Loneliness operates quietly. It doesn’t announce itself. It whispers that you’re fine with your own company—which you are, up to a point. Then it suggests you don’t need what you used to have. Then it becomes true. The research is blunt about the cost. Isolation carries mortality risks comparable to smoking. It’s not metaphorical damage. It’s the kind that shows up in hospital records and coroner’s reports. But there’s something else happening at the Sheds, something the statistics don’t quite capture. Men don’t often admit they need their mates. We’re taught to be self-sufficient, to sort ourselves out, to not make a fuss. But in a shed-with the noise of tools, with something to do with your hands, with permission to sit quietly or talk endlessly-that teaching gets quietly overridden. Connection happens. Not forced. Not therapeutic. Just… there. It keeps the wheels turning. It’s what some researchers call “fella-friendship”- kind of connection men build shoulder-to-shoulder, rather than face-to-face. WHAT I DIDN’T EXPECT TO FIND What strikes me now is how many versions of this problem I see around me. There’s my dad, structured out of structure. There’s the bloke from Sydney, starting over in a new place, needing to know where his people are. There’s the man isolated by choice or circumstance, ticking over on Meals on Wheels and morning paper transactions, waiting for permission to sit somewhere and belong. And there’s me. I didn’t realise what I was looking for when I started researching the Sheds. I thought I was trying to fix my dad. I was actually noticing something about myself – that I’d stopped paying attention to the men around me, that I hadn’t thought about what happens when a man loses his anchor, that I’d assumed boredom was a personal failure rather than a sign of a life missing something real. The Shed works because it doesn’t pretend to be therapy. It’s not trying to save anyone. It’s just a place where men can show up, make a cuppa, have a chin-wag, maybe build something, and know that showing up is enough. That the company matters. That they’re not alone. My dad hasn’t joined yet. But I’ve stopped trying to convince him. Instead, I’ve told him where the local one meets. I’ve mentioned that the bloke who runs it is good company. And I’ve left it at that – which, it turns out, is exactly the right move. Because the Shed isn’t about being saved. It’s about being seen. And sometimes that’s all a man needs to stop being bored. For more information and to find a Men’s Shed near you go to mensshed.org

Mens Health

Building better men

How Men of Business is making a difference Today’s young men face a range of challenges that can lead them down troubling paths. Thankfully, the Men of Business (MOB) Academy is offering a lifeline to boys who have disengaged from mainstream education, helping them build better lives. Why MOB Was Created MOB was founded with a simple yet powerful mission: to guide young men into adulthood equipped with respect, resilience, and responsibility. With the help of strong mentors and positive relationships, MOB has become a transformative space for boys currently from years 11 & 12 who need a fresh start. It is more than just a school—it’s a place where boys can develop not only academic skills but also life skills. Since opening its doors in 2020, MOB Academy has made a massive impact on the lives of over 600 boys, many of whom would have otherwise fallen through the cracks. The numbers are impressive: Not only have these boys earned vocational qualifications, but they’ve also found jobs. The academy is a place of second chances, where young men can rediscover their potential and set themselves on a path to success. The Growing Need The need for programs like MOB is greater than ever. Youth disengagement, school dropout rates, and youth crime continue to rise, with some boys turning to destructive behaviour simply because they don’t see another way. Did you know that suspensions from’’ school are at an all-time high, and the cost of keeping one young man in the youth justice system can be as high as $680,000? Without intervention, many young men who leave school early face uncertain futures, often leading to long-term unemployment or worse. MOB steps in to break this cycle. By providing vocational training, career guidance, mental health support, and even meals for families in need, MOB is creating real change. It’s a holistic approach that doesn’t just focus on education but on every aspect of a boy’s well-being. The New MOB HQ The next chapter for MOB is the creation of MOB HQ—a state-of-the-art facility in Southport that will open its doors in 2027. This centre will accommodate up to 450 boys and offer education, hands-on vocational training, a wellness hub, and even a community centre. The boys who come through MOB HQ will not only receive an education but will also learn trades and life skills that can set them on the path to a successful, fulfilling future. . The Power of Community None of this would be possible without the help of the local community. Building MOB HQ is a massive undertaking, and it will require the support of people who believe in giving these boys a brighter future. Thats why MOB has launched a major fundraising campaign, asking the community to buy symbolic bricks for $1,000 each. These contributions will help raise the funds needed to build the new centre and expand MOB’s life-changing work When we come together to support programs like MOB, we’re not just investing in the lives of these boys—we’re investing in a better future for everyone. To donate or get involved, contact Marco and the Men of Business Academy team today. Your support could make all the difference. [email protected] Menofbusiness.com.au Note: All donations are tax deductible. What started as a small initiative by Marco Renai, a 2024 QLD Australian of the Year, has blossomed into an incredible program that’s changing lives on the Gold Coast. Now, MOB is launching its most ambitious project yet: the new MOB HQ.