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Health and Wellness

Weight Loss Surgery: A Path to Better Health
Health and Wellness

Weight Loss Surgery: A Path to Better Health

Carrying excess weight isn’t just a cosmetic concern— it can significantly impact your overall health. Obesity is linked to various medical issues, including diabetes, high blood pressure, joint pain, and even certain cancers. It can also affect mental well-being and reduce life expectancy. While many attempt to lose weight through dieting, exercise, or medication, research indicates that individuals with severe obesity have less than a 1% chance of achieving and maintaining a healthy weight through these methods alone. In contrast, weight loss surgery has proven to be the most effective long-term solution for substantial and sustained weight loss. Bariatric surgery not only aids in weight reduction but also offers significant health benefits. It can lead to the remission or improvement of conditions such as type 2 diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnoea, and arthritis. Moreover, studies suggest that weight loss surgery may lower the risk of developing at least 13 different types of cancer. Modern weight loss procedures are minimally invasive. All are performed using keyhole surgery, often as day-stay only procedures. Patients often return to work within a few days, making the recovery process relatively quick and manageable. At The Surgery Gold Coast Weight Loss Surgery Clinic, we have over a decade of experience in performing these procedures safely and effectively. Our dedicated team is committed to supporting you on your journey to better health. P 07 5564 6501 surgerygoldcoast.com.au    

Apex Orthodontics – Your Local Specialist
Health and Wellness

Apex Orthodontics – Your Local Specialist

When it comes to our children, there’s nothing more precious than their smile. It’s the way they light up a room, the confidence they carry into school, or the joy they share with friends. At Apex Orthodontics, we believe every smile tells a story—and we’re here to help make that story one of health, happiness, and confidence. Why See an Orthodontist? Just as medicine has cardiologists for the heart or dermatologists for the skin, dentistry has its own specialists—orthodontists. Orthodontists focus solely on straightening teeth and correcting jaw alignment, helping to create smiles that don’t just look beautiful, but also support lifelong health and confidence. Dr Tapiwa Gwengo, the specialist orthodontist at Apex Orthodontics, explains: “Orthodontics is more than moving teeth—it’s about unlocking confidence. I love seeing a shy child who starts treatment with their hand over their mouth and ends it laughing freely with a smile they’re proud to share.” The Apex Difference Choosing orthodontic treatment is a big decision, whether for your child or yourself. At Apex Orthodontics, we understand the emotions and questions that come with it. That’s why we’ve built our practice around one simple idea: every patient should feel heard, supported, and cared for. From the first consultation to the day the braces or aligners come off, we aim to make every step warm and reassuring. Parents often tell us their children actually look forward to their visits—something we’re very proud of. One mum recently shared that her daughter, once nervous about her teeth, now can’t stop smiling in family photos. “She’s like a different child,” the mum said, “and that’s thanks to Dr Gwengo and his team making her feel safe and understood.” Affordable, Accessible Care We also know orthodontic care is a significant investment. At Apex Orthodontics, we believe financial worries shouldn’t stand in the way of a healthy, confident smile. That’s why we offer flexible, transparent payment options designed to fi t family budgets. As Dr Gwengo puts it: “Every family deserves access to great care. We’re here to make it possible, without compromises.” Meet Dr Gwengo With specialist training from the University of Queensland and a warm, approachable manner, Dr Gwengo brings together advanced expertise with genuine compassion. He is an expert in treating patients with both braces and clear aligners (such as Invisalign), and has helped children, teens, and adults choose the option that best fi ts their lifestyle and smile goals. What sets him apart is his belief that every patient is more than just teeth on a chart. “I always take time to listen to what’s most important to my patients. For some, it’s about health and function. For others, it’s about self-esteem. My role is to guide them to the best outcome while making the journey positive and empowering.” Dr Gwengo’s advanced training also allows him to treat more complex orthodontic cases, including those that may require jaw surgery, always with a focus on comfort, stability, and long-term results. A Place for Families At Apex Orthodontics, we’ve created a welcoming environment where families feel at ease, questions are encouraged, and every milestone is celebrated. Whether it’s a child’s first consultation or an adult’s long-awaited transformation, we’re honoured to be part of these journeys. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about straight teeth—it’s about confidence, joy, and a smile that lasts a lifetime. P: 07 5651 6520 E: [email protected] Suite 13, Hope Island Central, 340 Hope Island Road, Hope Island Open Monday, Wednesday to Friday 8am-5pm www.apexorthodontics.com.au Book your complimentary consultation today and take the first step towards a healthier, more confident smile for you or your child.

Have you heard of Exosomes – Skin Rejuvination at iBeauty
Health and Wellness

Have you heard of Exosomes – Skin Rejuvination at iBeauty

Exosomes are revolutionising skincare by enhancing rejuvenation and repair at the cellular level. Packed with potent bioactive molecules, including proteins, enzymes, DNA, lipids and growth factors, these elements serve as precise messengers, delivering targeted instructions to skin and hair cells to enhance their function and promote rejuvenation. In layman’s terms they can kick start your skin and hair at a cellular level. What does this mean? Studies have shown that these exosomes significantly boost collagen and elastin production, reduce inflammation and accelerate wound healing, offering a state-of-the-art, non-surgical solution for a more youthful skin and thicker, healthier hair. They also reduce the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles and age spots by delivering powerful growth factors and proteins that regenerate and repair skin cells. Their ability to modulate inflammation and aid in wound healing makes them effective for treating various skin conditions, such as acne scars and dermatitis The benefits of Exosomes in a nutshell 1. Skin Rejuvenation: Reduces wrinkles and fine lines. 2. Age Spot Reduction: Minimises the appearance of age spots. 3. Hydration & Elasticity: Boosts skin moisture and elasticity, promoting a youthful glow. 4. Radiant Skin: Improves skin smoothness and brightness. 5. Pore Refinement: Shrinks enlarged pores. 6. Scar Improvement: Reduces the appearance of scars, including acne and post-surgical scars. 7. Calms Inflammation: Soothes irritated skin and general dermatitis. 8. Wound Healing: Accelerates the healing process, promoting faster recovery & minimising scar formation 9. Hair Growth: Stimulates hair growth, promoting thicker, fuller hair. Every treatment at iBeauty is tailored to meet individual needs. If you would like to talk to our team to discuss your personal concerns, please give us a call. 62 Ashmore Road, Bundall P 07 5600 0191 ibeautycosmeticclinic.com.au

iBeauty – Real lasting results with Ultherapy Prime
Health and Wellness

iBeauty – Real lasting results with Ultherapy Prime

Ultherapy Prime is a cutting-edge, non-invasive treatment that offers you natural yet transformative results. Our real, before and after images show you the results that can be achieved. (No photoshopping here). How it works: Ultherapy Prime utilises focused ultrasound energy with real-time imaging (which means our therapists can actually see areas of concern) and is designed to lift and tighten skin on areas like the brow, chin, cheeks and neck, and improve the appearance of lines on the décolletage. The advanced technology allows for precise targeting of skin layers, stimulating collagen and elastin production, resulting in a natural, long-lasting lift. The benefits • Non-invasive: Ultherapy Prime does not involve surgery or incisions, making it a lower-risk option for skin tightening. • Micro-focused Ultrasound: It uses focused ultrasound energy to stimulate collagen and elastin production by targeting the deeper layers of the skin. Using real-time imaging ensures accurate and effective treatment. • Long-lasting Results: While individual results may vary, Ultherapy Prime can provide noticeable lifting and tightening effects that can last for up to 12 months. • Customised Treatment: All treatments are specifically tailored to your individual needs. If you have concerns and would like to discuss a personal solution, please call Dr Alex and the team at iBeauty to book a free consultation. 62 Ashmore Road, Bundall P 07 5600 0191 ibeautycosmeticclinic.com.au

7 Ways to Cultivate a Growth Mindset and Find Peace After a Storm 
Health and Wellness

7 Ways to Cultivate a Growth Mindset and Find Peace After a Storm 

When life feels like a relentless storm, it’s easy to believe the chaos will never settle. Yet, within every challenge lies the seed of growth, waiting to be nurtured by a shift in mindset. A growth mindset isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the compass that can guide you from turbulence to tranquillity. Here are seven ways to plant that seed and move toward a more peaceful, purposeful life.  Embrace Setbacks as Learning: Each challenge holds a lesson. Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?” This gentle curiosity helps you grow, not stay stuck.  Reframe Your Inner Dialogue: The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality. Try motivational interviewing with yourself: “What’s one small change I can make today?” Let your self-talk be compassionate and encouraging.  Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: A growth mindset thrives on small wins. Each step forward, however tiny, is a victory. Acknowledge your effort, not just the outcome.  Cultivate Curiosity: Replace judgement with curiosity. Ask: “What else could be possible?” This opens space for fresh perspectives and untapped opportunities.  Practice Self-Compassion: Healing isn’t linear. Let your inner critic soften and say: “I’m doing the best I can.” That’s enough.  Visualize Peace: Imagine a peaceful life. What does it look like, feel like, sound like? Hold this vision in your heart as you navigate forward.  Seek Support: Sometimes, we all need a hand to hold. Counselling can provide a safe space to explore your story, reframe challenges, and gently guide you toward your goals.  Peace is the ultimate destination, but a growth mindset is the bridge to get you there. Let today be the day you choose peace.

Finding the right Cognitive Behavioural Therapy support
Health and Wellness

Finding the right Cognitive Behavioural Therapy support

  Factors to Consider When Looking for CBT Support Finding the right Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) support involves more than just booking the first available appointment. With many qualified professionals and different approaches, it helps to know what to look for before making a choice. The most important factor is matching the therapist’s expertise and approach with the individual’s specific needs. Cost, location, and format also play a role. In Sydney, session fees can vary depending on whether the therapy is in-person or online, with telehealth often slightly more affordable. Considering that 42.9% of Australians experience a mental health condition at some point in their lives, choosing the right support can make a meaningful difference in treatment outcomes. It also matters whether the therapy is structured and goal-focused, such as CBT for anxiety or depression, or tailored for particular circumstances like trauma or ADHD. By weighing these elements, individuals can feel more confident in selecting a therapist who offers the right balance of expertise, accessibility, and personal fit. Key Takeaways Choosing CBT support depends on aligning therapy style with personal needs Practical factors like cost, location, and session format influence the decision The right match improves confidence and effectiveness in treatment Key Factors to Consider When Seeking CBT Support in Sydney Selecting the right cognitive behaviour therapy service in depends on the therapist’s professional background, the way treatment is tailored to individual needs, and the use of structured, evidence-based CBT techniques. Each of these elements directly affects the quality and effectiveness of mental health care. Qualifications and Accreditation of Therapists A qualified CBT therapist should hold relevant psychology or counselling credentials and be registered with professional bodies such as the Psychology Board of Australia or the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA). Accreditation ensures that the therapist has met national standards of training and ethical practice. Patients benefit when therapists also have specific postgraduate training in cognitive behavioural therapy. This training provides the skills needed to apply CBT techniques correctly, including cognitive restructuring, behavioural activation, and exposure therapy. It is also useful to ask whether the therapist participates in ongoing professional development. Regular training and supervision help maintain up-to-date knowledge of new approaches in behaviour therapy and mental health care. Personalised Treatment Approaches Cognitive behaviour therapy is most effective when adapted to the individual’s situation. A personalised plan considers the client’s specific mental health concerns, such as anxiety, depression, or phobias, and adjusts the pace and focus of sessions accordingly. Some therapists use structured treatment plans, while others take a more flexible approach. Both can be effective if they align with the client’s needs. For example, someone experiencing social anxiety may benefit from gradual exposure tasks, while a person with low mood may focus more on behavioural activation. A supportive environment also plays a role. When clients feel heard and understood, they are more likely to engage actively in therapy. Personalisation is not only about techniques but also about the therapist’s ability to build trust and adapt communication style. Evidence-Based CBT Techniques CBT in Sydney commonly involves structured, research-backed methods designed to address unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours. Core techniques include: Cognitive restructuring – identifying and challenging negative thoughts Behavioural experiments – testing new behaviours in real-life situations Exposure therapy – gradually facing feared situations Problem-solving skills – developing practical strategies for daily challenges Evidence-based CBT ensures that therapy is not random but follows proven approaches supported by clinical studies. This is especially important for conditions like generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and depression, where standardised CBT protocols have shown reliable outcomes. Therapists who integrate these methods consistently provide clients with tools that can be applied outside sessions. This structured approach helps individuals build long-term coping strategies, rather than relying only on the therapy setting. Matching CBT Support to Individual Needs Finding the right CBT support requires attention to how therapy aligns with a person’s mental health condition, the accessibility of services, and the level of ongoing support available. These factors influence whether someone can apply strategies consistently and make steady progress. Addressing Specific Mental Health Conditions CBT can be adapted to address a wide range of conditions such as anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, and substance abuse. Each condition requires a slightly different focus, even though the core CBT methods remain consistent. For example, individuals with anxiety may benefit from exposure-based techniques and cognitive restructuring to challenge catastrophic thinking. Those with depression often need structured activities to counter withdrawal and tools to reframe persistent negative thoughts. When working with PTSD, therapists may emphasize grounding techniques, emotional regulation, and gradual processing of traumatic memories. In cases of substance abuse, CBT often targets triggers, cravings, and the development of healthier coping mechanisms. Accessibility and Flexibility of Sessions Access to therapy often determines whether someone can start and maintain treatment. In Sydney, CBT is available through private practices, community health services, and online platforms. Each option offers different levels of affordability and convenience. Some people prefer face-to-face sessions for personal interaction, while others rely on telehealth appointments for flexibility around work or childcare. Cost is another important factor. Options may include Medicare-subsidized sessions, private health insurance coverage, or low-cost clinics. The ability to choose between these formats allows people to find support that fits their schedule, location, and financial situation. When choosing CBT support in, individuals benefit from considering therapist qualifications, treatment approach, and accessibility. These factors help ensure the therapy aligns with their needs and goals. It is also useful to evaluate practical elements such as location, session format, and cost. Comparing options gives people a clearer sense of what will work best for their circumstances. By balancing clinical expertise with personal preferences, individuals can make informed choices. This increases the likelihood of finding effective and sustainable support through CBT. Dr Jodie Lowinger. Founder and Principal Clinical Psychologist at The Anxiety Clinic.

Building better men
Health and Wellness

Building better men

    How Men of Business is making a difference  Today’s young men face a range of challenges that can lead them down troubling paths. Thankfully, the Men of Business (MOB) Academy is offering a lifeline to boys who have disengaged from mainstream education, helping them build better lives.  Why MOB Was Created MOB was founded with a simple yet powerful mission: to guide young men into adulthood equipped with respect, resilience, and responsibility. With the help of strong mentors and positive relationships, MOB has become a transformative space for boys currently from years 11 & 12 who need a fresh start. It is more than just a school—it’s a place where boys can develop not only academic skills but also life skills. Since opening its doors in 2020, MOB Academy has made a massive impact on the lives of over 600 boys, many of whom would have otherwise fallen through the cracks. The numbers are impressive: Not only have these boys earned vocational qualifications, but they’ve also found jobs. The academy is a place of second chances, where young men can rediscover their potential and set themselves on a path to success. The Growing Need The need for programs like MOB is greater than ever. Youth disengagement, school dropout rates, and youth crime continue to rise, with some boys turning to destructive behaviour simply because they don’t see another way. Did you know that suspensions from’’ school are at an all-time high, and the cost of keeping one young man in the youth justice system can be as high as $680,000? Without intervention, many young men who leave school early face uncertain futures, often leading to long-term unemployment or worse. MOB steps in to break this cycle. By providing vocational training, career guidance, mental health support, and even meals for families in need, MOB is creating real change. It’s a holistic approach that doesn’t just focus on education but on every aspect of a boy’s well-being. The New MOB HQ The next chapter for MOB is the creation of MOB HQ—a state-of-the-art facility in Southport that will open its doors in 2027. This centre will accommodate up to 450 boys and offer education, hands-on vocational training, a wellness hub, and even a community centre. The boys who come through MOB HQ will not only receive an education but will also learn trades and life skills that can set them on the path to a successful, fulfilling future. . The Power of Community None of this would be possible without the help of the local community. Building MOB HQ is a massive undertaking, and it will require the support of people who believe in giving these boys a brighter future. Thats why MOB has launched a major fundraising campaign, asking the community to buy symbolic bricks for $1,000 each. These contributions will help raise the funds needed to build the new centre and expand MOB’s life-changing work When we come together to support programs like MOB, we’re not just investing in the lives of these boys—we’re investing in a better future for everyone.   To donate or get involved, contact Marco and the Men of Business Academy team today. Your support could make all the difference. [email protected] Menofbusiness.com.au Note: All donations are tax deductible. What started as a small initiative by Marco Renai, a 2024 QLD Australian of the Year, has blossomed into an incredible program that’s changing lives on the Gold Coast. Now, MOB is launching its most ambitious project yet: the new MOB HQ.

Healthy school lunches
Health and Wellness

Healthy school lunches

  Healthy school lunches are more than just a midday meal; they are a crucial element in shaping a child’s physical health, academic performance, and lifelong eating habits. Research shows a vital connection between a nutritious midday meal and enduring healthy eating patterns in and out of school. Children partaking in well-rounded school lunches exhibit a ripple effect of positive choices, transcending the lunch hour. This not only supports their immediate well-being but also lays the foundation for lifelong healthy habits. As parents and educators, recognising these findings propels us into a multifaceted exploration of the pivotal role that healthy school lunches play in our children’s lives, unravelling insights and guidance for thoughtful and nutritious choices. Understanding Nutritional Needs for School-Aged Children Nutrition plays a pivotal role in the physical and cognitive development of school-aged children. Essential nutrients like proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals each play unique roles in supporting growth, energy levels, brain function, and overall health. Adhering to dietary guidelines and understanding the nutritional requirements specific to different age groups is fundamental in planning healthy school lunches. The Impact of Unhealthy School Lunches on Students Sugar Highs and Crashes Unhealthy school lunches, high in sugar, trigger energy spikes followed by crashes, impacting students’ ability to stay focused and engaged in class. Cognitive Function Poor nutrition hampers cognitive development, affecting memory, problem-solving skills, and overall brain function in students. Academic Performance and Behaviour Inadequate diets are linked to lower academic achievements and behavioural issues, hindering students’ ability to learn and engage positively in the classroom. Decreased Concentration Sugary, processed foods contribute to decreased concentration levels, impairing students’ focus, information retention, and task completion. Mood and Social Interactions Unhealthy lunches influence mood swings and irritability, impacting students’ social interactions and hindering the development of positive relationships in school. Parents vs. Student Involvement There’s nothing worse than discovering a half-eaten sandwich and bruised fruit in your kid’s lunchbox. But, I’ve come to realise that letting our kids dictate their own lunches is far from striking a healthy balance. As parents, it’s our responsibility to care for and protect our children, even from their own food choices. Involving them in weekly lunch planning, however, has been a game-changer. Collaborative School Lunch Planning Go through the week’s menu together. By embracing the convenience of online grocery shopping, they even get to watch what you do and add each item to the virtual cart. Instead of simply saying “no” to their requests for chocolate bars during recess, make it a collaborative discussion. You could ask, “What could be a healthier alternative to chocolate that you would enjoy? How about trying this muesli bar?” In the end, this collaborative approach not only ensures that my children are making healthier choices, but it also gives them a sense of ownership over their meals. No more disappointing surprises in their lunchboxes – just a balanced and satisfying array of foods that we’ve all agreed upon. By Australian Christian College Moreton teacher, Jason Todio

10 Common Myths regarding Hysterectomy
Health and Wellness

10 Common Myths regarding Hysterectomy

  There appears to be a huge amount of misunderstanding regarding a hysterectomy, and therefore this article will attempt to make the operation of laparoscopic hysterectomy easier to understand by exploring the common myths. There are 32,000 hysterectomies performed in Australia each year. The majority are for heavy menstrual bleeding, but other indications might include prolapse, endometriosis, cancer, or fibroids. Most surgeries nowadays are performed laparoscopically through 3 x 5 mm incisions in the abdomen. By Dr Graeme Walker, Gynaecologist & Colposcopist. Founder of the Menstrual Misery Clinic.   Myth 1 Will the hysterectomy cause instantaneous menopause with all its devastating side effects? The answer is no. In the majority of cases we only take the womb, cervix and tubes, the ovaries are left behind, which has no immediate effect on hormones and therefore does not result in any menopausal symptoms at all. There are a few rare cases when the ovaries are removed, but this is because the patient has ovarian or endometrial cancer or for other specific genetic reasons. For 95% of the general female population, the ovaries are not removed. Myth 2 Will I still get a period after a hysterectomy? I am pleased to say that although patients may experience spotting for up to 6 weeks post-surgery, patients will never have a period again, which is excellent news for women in general, but more so for those women requiring multiple iron infusions due to heavy periods. Myth 3 After a hysterectomy, is there a hole created in the pelvis? The uterus is usually quite small, certainly less than 10 cm in diameter, and the space created by removing it is filled almost instantly with the small bowel, which quite happily fills the very small space generated by a hysterectomy Myth 4 Does the cervix have to be removed? No, it can remain. However, there is no difference in prolapse, sexual function, urinary incontinence, or complications if we leave or remove the cervix, but if left behind, it may lead to annoying spotting, and you will have to continue to attend for pap smears. Myth 5 A hysterectomy results in a long and difficult, restricted recovery: This is absolutely not the case. Most people go home either on the day of surgery or the following day. In my private practice, I review all of my patients seven days post-op, and interestingly, for the majority, you cannot tell that they had surgery a week ago. There are however, certain rules to follow post-operatively, as there are for any surgery, and these include no swimming, taking baths, or going to the gym for up to4 weeks, although showers are perfectly fine. In addition, no sex for 8 weeks. Myth 6 For those patients who have HPV identified during a pap smear, a hysterectomy will get rid of it: Absolutely not. The virus can live in the cervix or the vagina. Getting rid of the cervix via a hysterectomy will remove the cervix but not the virus. You will still require a pap smear of the vagina, potentially for several years. Patients who are HPV negative at the time of hysterectomy and are on a 5-year recall will never require another pap smear though! Myth 7 Hysterectomy is the only treatment for heavy periods: False. There are many other treatment options for heavy periods, and these include fairly basic options such as the contraceptive pill, Mirena, endometrial ablation, Ukraine Artery embolization and, in some cases, a drug called Zoladex. However, there are a certain number of patients who have tried a selection of the above options to no avail. When they comment during the consultation, “I am over it,” you know that the patient has reached the end of their tether and is essentially requesting a hysterectomy in the knowledge that post-procedure, these patients will join a growing band of women who state that “hysterectomy is the best thing that they have ever done.” Myth 8 A hysterectomy will result in a prolapse: There are mixed results in the published literature, and the conclusion really is that prolapse is likely to be multifactorial and increased by multiple factors, including the presence of pre-existing prolapse, age, menopausal status, surgical technique, and the number of pregnancies. In my experience, prolapse following a hysterectomy is not at all common. Myth 9 Sex will be worse following a hysterectomy: Again, no definitive conclusion is reported, but most women seem to report improved or better sexual function after a hysterectomy, perhaps because those who suffer from chronic pelvic pain or discomfort from other conditions such as endometriosis or fibroids have that source of pain removed, therefore enhancing overall sexual wellbeing. For those women with profound, uncontrolled, heavy irregular periods, there are obvious benefits to having no uterus! Myth 10 A hysterectomy is a risky surgical procedure: Thankfully not. Like any surgical procedure, there are risks, but serious ones are rare. Most commonly, there are superficial wound infections, maybe a UTI or constipation. Risks such as bleeding, damage to the bowel or bladder or clots in the leg are minimised due to advances in laparoscopic surgical techniques and improvements in theatre efficiency and vast improvement in the clarity of laparoscopic vision. If you have any questions, please contact our team at [email protected] Dr Walker has performed well over 1000 laparoscopic hysterectomies with a highly selective dedicated team performing each operation resulting in exceptional efficiency and minimal complications. He is the only surgeon in Australia that routinely allows patients to go home on the same day of surgery if that is the wish of the patient. 250 patients have chosen that wish of day case hysterectomies as their first choice, with the patient’s journey being published in the peer-reviewed RANZCOG journal.  

When Positivity can become toxic
Health and Wellness

When Positivity can become toxic

  Who believes if you always have a positive outlook, everything will be ok? Bully to that. There’s a reason there’s day and night, yin and yang, black and white, up and down. And everything in between. Having been through an incredibly challenging time recently, I’ve had some of those so-called pesky negative emotions. Anger. Rage. Sadness. Grief. Disappointment. I went to the dark side for a while. It was awful. Truly awful. I’ve not felt so down and lost for a long time. I got really dark. While some outright avoided me. Others stepped up to hold space. But some, with the best intentions, encouraged me to let it go, move on, be positive, and be grateful for what I’ve got. One bright spark suggested my current situation was my choice, as was happiness. Or… Being told to smile (even when I didn’t want to). Being told to ‘Think positive’ or ‘Be optimistic’. ‘Don’t be so negative’. ‘You have nothing to be stressed about’. ‘Other people in the world have it worse than you’. Hashtags on social media like #GoodVibesOnly or #PositiveVibesOnly There’s a line between finding the silver lining in an experience and toxic positivity. Having a positive outlook on life is good for our mental well-being. The problem is that life isn’t always positive. We all have painful emotions and experiences. While often icky and uncomfortable, those emotions need to be felt and dealt with openly and honestly to achieve acceptance and greater psychological health. Instead, we’re tiptoeing around, scared we’re going to trigger someone with our experiences. Or not expressing how we feel, because who needs a Pollyanna telling you the sun is shining when for you, it’s dark and you just want someone to hold space for you? Toxic positivity is dangerous. It’s gaslighting. It’s not helpful or makes you a more enlightened person because you always see the good. It makes me question someone’s mental health, because if you’re skipping over the bad bits in life, you’re not living fully. Toxic positivity minimises and even denies any trace of human emotions that are not strictly happy or positive. It’s an avoidance of unpleasantness, and I don’t believe that’s healthy. It avoids authentic human emotion, which causes guilt and can be shaming. We have so much knowledge at our fingertips to understand how the brain works, which can give us an understanding of psychology and mental health. Yet, we live in a time where we are ‘cancelled’ if we go against the virtue of the masses. We get shut down for differing opinions. Other people’s emotions make us uncomfortable. We avoid those who are negative. It’s why people don’t share their thoughts. Because the peanut gallery will tell you how and why you should be feeling instead of letting you feel the feels, so you can move through it. The pressure to appear ‘OK’ invalidates the range of emotions we all experience. You’re not defective, weak, or inadequate when you feel distress or sadness. These are transient emotions. If we’re encouraged and supported through them, we learn, grow, and heal to come out the other side. Reality is painful. There are a lot of people doing it tough right now. How many of them are quietly living in pain because they feel they have no one to turn to? If they do express themselves, how long before they’re told to not be negative? There’s a difference between positivity and optimism. Optimism can be good and nurturing and allow us to believe that we will heal and survive the difficult moments. It acknowledges when times have been tough while also holding hope for things to change. The pressure to be productive, upbeat, and happy leaves many feeling inadequate and ashamed that they’re not okay because they can’t make it through the day without a panic attack or tears. Humans are not designed to be positive all the time. When we dismiss other people’s concerns, it’s because many of us are uncomfortable with difficult feelings. Sadness, anger, and fear aren’t inherently bad. They are part of our human experience spectrum that helps us identify things that are threatening, upsetting, or need attention, like a blinking light on your fuel tank when it’s almost empty. When someone disregards those feelings, it’s harmful to our mental and physical health. Emotions aren’t positive or negative. They are only emotions. Stop denying the ones that make you feel shit. They’re there for a reason. You may just have to trust you’ll find someone who’ll hold space so you can express yourself. It’s undeniable that being positive is a good thing. Excessive positivity is harmful. Sometimes life can just flat-out suck. By pretending we’re “positive vibes all day,” we deny the validity of our human experience. A mentor once told me that it’s ok to feel mad, sad, and down as long as I’m only renting the space. Don’t take a mortgage out on it. Feel the feels. Learn from the experience and grow. By Annette Densham