Family matters when times are tough

22 July 20253 min read

When Monica’s brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer, it shattered her world.

But as she struggled to carry the emotional weight of the prospect of losing her brother, the responsibilities of life carried on.

Monica became her brother’s full-time carer. Over the last months of his life, Monica was struggling with all her brother’s care needs, while also managing life’s usual responsibilities. At the same time, she was trying to deal with the emotional toll of her brother’s diagnosis.

Monica was breaking. And she’s not alone.

More than 450 Australians are diagnosed with cancer every single day, with almost two in five predicted to be diagnosed with cancer before the age of 85.

One of the most challenging aspects of this difficult time is that despite their internal struggle, everyday life must go on. This leaves those people in a difficult and vulnerable position, forced to balance navigating their diagnosis with their other responsibilities, such as looking after their children, cooking, cleaning, or walking their dog.

Unlike Kate Middleton and King Charles, your average Australian is not always backed by an established support system or with an abundance of resources at their fingertips.

While research shows people with stronger social bonds have a 50 per cent increased likelihood of survival than those who have fewer social connections, even those with a strong social network can find it difficult to ask for help. Similarly, many well-meaning friends and family don’t quite know how to offer help.

That’s where Gather My Crew comes into play, offering proactive support to break down the barriers of people needing to ask for help.

Essentially, the Gather My Crew app is a free online rostering system, acting as a middle man between a person in need and their ‘crew’ – those people that want to help but aren’t sure how.

After you set up your account, you can then select from hundreds of things you might need help with, including school pickups, washing, transport, even weekend activities for the kids. Basically, all the things that make living a normal life possible.

After you’ve chosen these, you can then invite family and friends to join your crew, who can then choose the specific items they’re able to help you with.

“As humans, we are inherently social beings. We thrive on community support, especially during times of crisis,” said Dr Susan Palmer, Psychologist, Founder and Clinical Lead of Gather My Crew:

“During periods of heightened stress, cognitive overload can impair our communication and decision-making, making it harder to deal with challenging situations and think logically during this time.

However, research consistently shows that individuals with robust social support systems fare better in times of crisis, experiencing lower levels of stress and greater resilience.

“By proactively gathering our crew and fostering interconnectedness within our communities, we not only help our own well-being but also create a foundation of solidarity and compassion.”

According to Dr Palmer, the issue with saying ‘Let me know how I can help’ is that it requires the person struggling to go back and ask for specific things which can sadly work as a barrier to receiving the help they actual need.

“On the flip side, people are ready to give help and have the best intentions but don’t know how to go about it or what to offer,” Dr Palmer said.

You are not irreplacable, you are resilient!

You have two kidneys. You only need one. Long before anyone coined a phrase for it, your body quietly modelled the principle we now call resilience at work — packed with spares, one organ at a time, built not to be precious but to last. Evolution looked at the long odds of staying alive and decided that redundancy, a quiet backup sitting ready and unbothered, was the kindest thing it could give you. The Myth of the Irreplaceable Person Your ego disagrees. It has its own theory, and it recites it at 2am: that you’re the one who truly understands the client, the unrepeatable knot of skill the whole thing depends on. It’s a comforting story. The body has spent years gently disagreeing. We’ve always believed this at scale. Every monarchy that claimed divine right discovered, eventually, that divinity has a short attention span. When Steve Jobs died in 2011, the consensus was that Apple had lost the one mind it could never replace; under Tim Cook it went on to become the most valuable company in the world. [SUGGESTED LINK: Tim Cook’s leadership and Apple’s growth post-Jobs] The gap between valuable and irreplaceable is the gap between a fact and a fairy tale. Work culture prefers the fairy tale. It calls you a “key person” and means it as a compliment — when underneath sits a system that falls over the moment one human leaves. Engineering has a blunter name for that. It isn’t talent; it’s a single point of failure. A design flaw. [SUGGESTED LINK: single point of failure in organisational design] What Strong Systems Actually Look Like The body knows better, because it has no ego to defend. Two lungs, two kidneys, two brain hemispheres that cover for each other. A liver that grows back. An immune system that reroutes when a defence is breached. None of this is sentiment. Evolution doesn’t build irreplaceable parts; it builds systems that outlive the failure of any one of them. You are not the jewel in the crown of natural selection. You are a distributed backup system wrapped in skin and anxiety — and that, it turns out, is the good news. Here’s the part we flinch from, so I’ll just say it. Most of what you do — the emails, the meetings, the decisions — someone competent could learn in a few months. Not the intuition, the relationships, the context you carry in your bones. But the function? That’s a transferable skill wearing your name badge. AI didn’t make this true; it only made it loud. The printing press didn’t make the monk less skilled, only less necessary. We spend our lives confusing the two: defending how necessary we are, and missing what we’re for. [SUGGESTED LINK: AI and the future of work] Redundancy as a Design Principle, Not an Insult So before you spiral and refresh your LinkedIn, turn it over. Redundancy was never the insult you took it for. It’s the whole principle of resilience — why planes stay aloft, why your heart keeps beating when one pathway misfires. Strong systems aren’t the ones with an indispensable part; they’re the ones where no part is. When only one person understands the billing system, that isn’t a measure of their importance. It’s a hostage situation. Don’t be the load-bearing wall whose removal brings down the ceiling. Be part of the frame — holding things up precisely because it no longer all rests on you. And here’s the gift hidden in all of it: once you stop defending how hard you are to replace, you start to notice what genuinely can’t be. It was never the spreadsheet or the code. It’s the way you make a colleague feel human again after a brutal quarter; the meaning you pull out of chaos. None of it fits on a CV, because none of it is a component. It’s the connective tissue — not the parts, but what happens between them. What Genuinely Cannot Be Replaced “But doesn’t that mean we’re all worthless?” is the wrong question. It mistakes one axis for another. Any musician in the orchestra can be swapped and the note still sounds — but the ensemble, these people on this particular night, will never happen twice. You’re replaceable as a function and unrepeatable as a presence. You matter not because no one else could do your job, but because you’re the one doing it now, bringing the strange, specific thing only you bring. That’s not nothing. It’s just not what we were taught to call worth. We need this now, in an age of industrial-scale redundancy anxiety. AI writes the emails; an algorithm makes the trades, with no meltdowns and no lunch break. You are more functionally redundant than any generation before you — and the answer isn’t to deny it. It’s to stop hanging your whole identity on the function in the first place. You have two kidneys. You only need one. And you’ve spent your whole life not thinking about the spare — not resenting it, not feeling diminished by it, not lying awake afraid of it. You just lived, while the backup sat there quietly keeping you alive. Maybe it’s time to extend that same grace to the rest of you. The spare was never an accusation that you weren’t enough. It was the most honest kindness your body could manage: a margin, a second chance, the reason the whole fragile system keeps going. You are not irreplaceable. You are something better. You are resilient — and you were built that way on purpose. About the author Andrew Harmer Co-Founder & Software Architect, Get It Media Magazine Operations Software Engineering Andrew is co-founder of Get It Media, where he builds the software behind modern publishing — practical tools for creating, managing and distributing web content. He also writes for Get It Magazine on men's health and lifestyle. Website Email

By Andrew Harmer

Health and Wellness

Simple, realistic ways to reset and feel like yourself again

We have all had those days. A few too many sweet treats, followed by feeling sluggish, bloated or simply not quite like ourselves. While it is easy to fall into guilt afterwards, sugar binges are incredibly common and are often linked to stress, exhaustion or emotions rather than a lack of willpower. The good news is that one indulgent day does not undo your health. With a few simple, practical steps, you can help your body reset and move forward feeling more balanced again. What happens after a sugar binge? When we consume a large amount of sugar, blood glucose levels rise quickly. In response, the body releases insulin to help regulate the surge, which can then lead to a rapid drop in blood sugar levels, often referred to as the “crash”. This is why many people feel tired, irritable, foggy or crave even more sugar shortly afterwards. It can also trigger a cycle of overeating followed by restriction, which tends to make things worse rather than better. Understanding this response is important. Your body is not failing you. It is simply reacting to rapid fluctuations. Why sugar binges happen Sugar binges are rarely just about food. Common triggers can include: Stress or emotional overwhelm Lack of sleep Restrictive dieting or skipping meals Habit, convenience or comfort eating Recognising your own triggers can make it easier to respond differently next time. How to reset without punishing yourself Eat balanced mealsSkipping meals after overeating often backfires. Instead, focus on balanced meals that include protein, fibre and healthy fats, such as eggs, vegetables, whole grains, yoghurt or lean meats. This helps stabilise blood sugar levels and reduce cravings. Hydrate wellWater supports digestion, helps reduce bloating and can improve energy levels. Aim for around two litres a day, particularly if you have been eating heavily or consuming extra salt and sugar. Move your body gentlyYou do not need an intense workout to “make up” for anything. A walk, light stretch or swim can help your body regulate glucose levels and improve how you feel physically and mentally. Prioritise sleepPoor sleep increases hunger hormones and sugar cravings. Giving your body proper rest can help regulate appetite and energy more effectively. Avoid extreme restrictionCutting out all treats or drastically reducing calories often leads to stronger cravings and another binge later on. A balanced, flexible approach is far more sustainable. Choose smarter sweet optionsIf cravings hit, try options that are more balanced, such as fruit with nut butter, Greek yoghurt with berries or a small piece of dark chocolate. Manage stress levelsStress is one of the biggest drivers of sugar cravings. Gentle habits like walking, journaling, deep breathing or yoga can help regulate the nervous system and reduce emotional eating. Let go of the guilt It is normal to feel physically and emotionally off after overeating, but guilt rarely helps recovery. One day does not define your health or your habits. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Long-term wellbeing is built through consistency, not perfection. Preventing future binges Small habits often make the biggest difference over time: Eat regularly and avoid skipping meals Keep nourishing snacks on hand Be mindful of hidden sugars Identify emotional triggers rather than ignoring them Most importantly, stay curious rather than critical about your habits. Every experience offers insight into what your body may actually need.

Health and Wellness

The women’s health crisis hiding in plain sight

When we think about women’s cancers, breast cancer is often the first that comes to mind. But there is another cancer affecting thousands of Australian women every year, and many people know surprisingly little about it. Blood cancer is now the second most common cancer diagnosed in Australian women, behind only breast cancer, and the leading cancer among girls and women under 30. Yet despite its prevalence, awareness remains relatively low. In 2024, more than 8,300 Australian women were diagnosed with blood cancer. Within the next decade, that number is expected to almost double. Last year alone, more than 2,500 women lost their lives to the disease. Unlike many other cancers, blood cancer cannot be prevented or detected through routine screening. It can affect anyone, at any stage of life. Treatment can be lengthy and intensive, sometimes requiring extended hospital stays or relocation to access specialist care. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy can also affect fertility, adding another layer of emotional complexity for women who may still be planning families. The financial impact can be significant too. Journalist and television presenter Edwina Bartholomew knows that reality firsthand. After being diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia last year, she has spent the past 12 months undergoing treatment while continuing to raise her young family and work. “The day I was diagnosed with blood cancer will stay with me forever,” she says. “When my doctor told me, I had no idea what to expect and what was ahead. But fortunately, my diagnosis of chronic myeloid leukaemia was early, and I have been extremely lucky.” Edwina says advances in medical research have transformed what her diagnosis means for her future. “Thanks to research, I am able to take a tablet that helps me to live a full and healthy life,” she says. “My results are also a testament to the importance of regular health check-ups.” Now serving as a National Ambassador for the Leukaemia Foundation, she hopes speaking openly about her experience will help raise awareness among other women. “I want women in Australia to know that this disease exists and it’s serious,” she says. “But if it touches your life, there is a community here to hold you up.” “You are not alone in this fight and organisations like the Leukaemia Foundation are here to help and support you and your loved ones every step of the way.” One of the challenges facing blood cancer is that symptoms can often be vague or mistaken for other conditions. Persistent fatigue, frequent infections, unexplained bruising, night sweats or ongoing fevers can all be warning signs worth discussing with a healthcare professional. For the Leukaemia Foundation, the message is simple: awareness matters. Blood cancer is already affecting thousands of Australian women, and its impact continues to grow. By understanding the signs, supporting research and ensuring women have access to the care and information they need, more lives can be changed and, ultimately, saved. For more information or support, visit the Leukaemia Foundation.

Health and Wellness

When was the last time you checked in with your life?

By Max Phelps, Money Coach Most people do financial check-ins. Some review their business goals. Others only pay attention to their health when something forces them to slow down. But very few people stop to take an honest look at their life as a whole. Not a surface-level reflection or a list of goals for the year ahead, but a genuine check-in across the areas that shape how life actually feels day to day. Work. Health. Relationships. Finances. Purpose. How we spend our time and energy when no one else is watching. Because life rarely unravels all at once. One late night turns into a routine. One skipped walk becomes weeks without movement. One postponed conversation creates distance. Gradually, without really noticing, we can find ourselves living a life that appears successful on the outside but feels disconnected on the inside. Working with high performers through Joya Life, I see this often. Most people do not need more ambition. What they need is greater awareness of what their ambition may be costing them. That is where a life audit becomes valuable. It is not about judgement. It is about clarity. One simple question is often enough to start:If I continued living exactly like this for the next three years, would I feel energised or depleted? The answer tends to reveal more than we expect. From there, it can help to look honestly at the areas carrying the weight of your life: Work: Does it energise you or simply consume you?Health: Are you supporting it consistently or managing it reactively?Relationships: Are they being nurtured or squeezed into whatever time is left?Time: Are you directing your days intentionally or constantly reacting to urgency?Rest: Do you genuinely recover, or simply pause before starting again? Many people discover they are succeeding in one or two areas while quietly neglecting others that matter just as much. The issue is not imbalance itself. Life naturally moves through seasons. The problem is imbalance without awareness, because what we fail to notice rarely changes. A life audit helps bring visibility back into focus. It interrupts autopilot and creates space for more intentional choices. Often, the shifts that follow are surprisingly small. Protecting mornings. Moving your body again. Having the conversation you have been avoiding. Prioritising sleep. Creating more space to recover. These changes may seem simple, but over time they compound. This is not about rebuilding your entire life overnight. It is about realignment. About making sure the life you are working so hard to build is one that still feels like your own while you are living it. To learn more or take the Joya Life Scorecard, visit joyalife.com.au